If...

I saw a line from this poem quoted this morning and it was such a good reminder. This poem was so important to my grandfather, in fact, that I can remember he offered to pay each of his granddaughters $25 when we were younger if we would memorize it.

"If"

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two impostersjust the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up wit wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

(emphasis mine)

The part I italicized is just what I needed to hear right now. I feel like that is exactly where I am right now. As of today, I have four weeks left of school -- I'm barely holding on. But I know that I am going to make it, if only out of sure determination.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

To Life!

So along with everyone else, I have spent the last week thinking about this new year, new Resolutions, and a new me. At times, the new year is a little overwhelming. Each year, there are so many things that I want to change or improve, so I set all of these resolutions to make myself better.. and by February I feel miserable and disappointed with myself. So this year, I decided to take a note from a fantastic book, The Happiness Project. In the book, the woman decides to have a different theme each month, nothing huge, but just little things to make herself happier. So, while I have some over-arching goals for myself this year, there are also smaller changes that I want to make throughout the year to improve myself and my life.

So... my first six months are as follows:

January -- Be Healthier. For me, this means drinking a little less, eating a few more veggies, and getting back to my running. I know how much better I feel when I am healthier, so this is the first thing that needs to happen!

February -- Get back to my faith. I think with all of the amazing things that have happened in my life, I have lost my way with God a little. Its easy to take Him for granted when things are going your way. I want to find a church here in Atlanta, find a Bible study, and figure out how to bring this all to my marriage.

March -- Be more confident. This is something I have struggled with my entire life. I don't know how to accomplish this yet.. but it is something that is really important to me.

April -- Make more time for friends. I have so many amazing people in my life, I think I take it for granted. I want to make more time for catch-up phone calls and spend more time with the girls. At times, I feel too tired or too emotionally drained to go out, and this is something I want to work on. I need to stop being so sketchy about going out with people, and just go and do it. I am lucky to have the people in my life that I do -- and I don't want to lose that.

May -- Be more active. As warmer weather comes, I want to be more physically active. I know in January I am getting back to my running, but I want to become a generally more active person. More getting outside. More taking advantage of this healthy body I have and all the things it can do. Less time on the couch in front of the TV and more time outside!

June -- Be more adventurous!! I have so many things I *want* to do or try, but most of the time I am too afraid. This month, I want to step out of my comfort zone to try new things. Maybe this will be the month I finally skydive... or go rock climbing.. try new foods.. who knows!


So that's it for now. I am still figuring out the other six months -- maybe I'll have more ideas after trying some of this for the first few months. I want to keep motivated and take baby steps to improve myself.